spy poster

Spy is a hilarious take on the increasingly exhausted ‘spy’ genre, and although it doesn’t necessarily present anything new to us, it sure draws out laughs! Melissa McCarthy is always funny, and seems to work well with writer/director Paul Feig, which certainly instills some confidence for the upcoming Ghostbusters. Jason Statham probably added the most comedic value to this film, and that’s why we’ve decided to compile a list of 7 funny things that Jason Statham says in Spy!

1. “We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus’ f*cking wife!”

spy still

2. “I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can’t do: Walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take up piano at a late age.”

jason statham poster

3.  “Nothing kills me. I’m immune to 179 different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.”

immune system

4. ” I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, *I* was on fire.”

jason statham on fire

5. “You really think you’re ready for the field? I put shards of glass in my f*ckin’ eye. I’ve jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a f*cking Cirque du Soleil show! I’ve swallowed enough microchips and sh*t them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* f*ckin’ arm.”

jason statham

6. “I once used defibrillators on myself.”

jason statham

7. “During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of congress as Barack Obama.”

obama spy